If you find yourself struggling with “imposter syndrome”, you might find yourself in situations where you are faced with catching up with people who are thirsty to hear the updates in your life. In an attempt to fill in the blanks or to connect, people ask about work, relationships, and what they deem to be markers of “progress”. This can pose a challenge to not fall into feelings of stagnation, under-achieving, or self loathing of whatever form.
Season of Tapping Into the Genuine Self for Navigating Imposter Syndrome
Rather than trying to directly contradict whatever negative perceptions of yourself emerge with positivity, you can build out your understanding your full self is. This looks like taking some of these supposed “markers of success” from the pedestal they might be mounted on.
Recognize the parts of your life and yourself that make up who you are outside of these things. If it turns out you feel comfortable with it, you can even reorient conversation to discussing these parts of your growth.
Season of Healthy Boundaries for the the People Pleaser
People pleasing is a pattern so many of us are familiar with. Whether you see the tendency in yourself or someone you know, it seems people pleasing is everywhere. It can almost feel like there is a natural element to this- we are social creatures, right? Does it not go against our human nature to try and limit how much we care about those around us? The truth is, it is a misconception that we have to stop caring about others when we start setting boundaries. In fact, I would say it is quite the opposite- we have to simply expand out the care we have over our own needs. We don’t have to take away from the care we have for others, but rather we simply need to strengthen the loyalty and dedication we have for ourselves and then we need to adjust our behaviors to reflect this new expanded version of self love.
Love unexpressed for oneself might look like recognizing that you don’t have the patience or energy to talk on the phone with a draining family member after a long day, but you proceed to answer all of this person’s calls anyways. Love fully and vibrantly expressed for oneself would look like figuring out what kind of boundary needs to be set that honors your need to maintain the relationship (if that’s the case) and also your need for space. When we have conflicting values or desires, a loving relationship with ourselves requires that we compromise with balanced boundaries in place. Healthy boundaries do sometimes require us to rub up against what someone else wants from us, but in the end we get to move from a more genuine place in general in our lives. We get to do things for the sake of genuinely wanting to do them rather than for guilt, fear of loss, or for the avoidance of conflict.
Steps to consider
Based on what resonates most of the above categories write out a list of grounding practices, affirming statements, boundaries you want to focus on building during this season full of opportunity for growth. Let this practice be a part of your focus rather than totally being confined by the heaviness of whatever your challenges are.
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